If you have ever served as a pallbearer at a funeral, you may really appreciate what I want to share with you today. Several weeks ago, I lost my very best friend that I had on this earth. We were the same age, grew up in the same county, and later spent countless hours fellowshipping with family, playing golf together, and duck hunting and deer hunting on his property. To protect his family, I best not tell you his name. I might add, he was a terrific golfer, shot a 79 at Pebble Beach in California and my goal was to beat him just one time. I came close but never did.
When he was along about 70 years of age, he developed a heart problem where his heart was only pumping about 20 percent of what it took for him to live. The solution was a battery pack that he wore around his waist to boost his heart. Believe it or not, he still played golf. Thankfully, he lived for another decade with this condition. Sadly, a few weeks ago I got a call from his wife to tell me he had passed away. In our conversation she asked if I wanted to be a pallbearer at his funeral.
Even though I am well past 80 years of age, I said “Yes,” as I considered this a great honor for me. Before I pass along the purpose of this column, let me tell you that my friend was a fairly large man, weighed more than 200 pounds, and was financially very successful. I say this because I am confident they bought the most expensive, heavy metal casket that money could buy. The job at the cemetery for the pallbearers was to lift a casket that weighed more than 400 pounds.
The day of the funeral there were six pallbearers to provide this service. Two of the others were mutual friends, both over 70 years of age, and we were all on the same side. When the hearse reached the cemetery and parked close to the gravesite, it was a good 50 yards away. I got the front-right side, and from the beginning I could tell that it was very heavy. Long story short, during this trip I pulled a groin muscle that still causes me a problem to this day, and there has been considerable pain involved. It is getting better little by little and I have a doctor’s appointment next week and I am not sure what he will tell me.
The reason I share this is to make a simple suggestion for anyone who makes funeral arrangements, and that is to have eight pallbearers instead of six, as some do. The military uses eight, at least that is what I have observed when a body is unloaded from an airplane or at a military funeral. Just a word of advice from someone who has been there, done that. However, even knowing what I know now, I would have still said “Yes” to my friend’s widow asking if I wanted to be a pallbearer. There are some things you just have to do because it is right, but I will know next time, if there is one. Maybe I could suggest that we have eight and not six for the service.
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(Jim Davidson is an author, public speaker, syndicated columnist, and Founder of the Bookcase for Every Child project. Since its inception in the Log Cabin Democrat in 1995, Jim’s column has been self-syndicated in over 375 newspapers in 35 states. For a personalized copy of “Your Future Begins Today” send $20, which includes postage and handling, to Jim Davidson, 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034.)