My wife Janis is a very wise and discerning person. She said something the other day that I believe merits sharing with you, because there is a real lesson here for each of us.

We were talking about a member of her extended family that I had never met, and she had not seen in years. This person I am talking about has or had a very cantankerous nature and had a way of doing things or saying things that rubbed you wrong, regardless of how hard you tried to avoid him. Due to a wedding in the family, we were going to be around this person, and I asked her how she was going to deal with him,

            She said “Oh, I will just let bygones be bygones.” I might add, it all worked out beautifully and we had the most pleasant exchange that anyone could ever have. Now, the reason I am sharing this with you is because there is a principle here that will help any of us facing a similar situation. You may have heard this statement, “When a man or woman inherits or comes into a lot of money, it does have a way of keeping you in touch with your kids.” To me, one of the saddest things in the world is when family members are on the outs with each other.

            How many families, especially large families, do you know that one or more members do not speak to each other or won’t attend the same function because this person is going to be there? If I happen to be talking about you or some member of your family, I have a great suggestion for you — just resolve that you are going to let bygones be bygones. Here is something that we sometimes forget: people change, they may have even come to know and serve the Lord, and they are totally different people. Now, I realize this is very personal and may be between you and your God, but life is too short to miss some of the greatest blessings that you could ever have.

            All of my family members are gone — both of my parents and my only sister are now with the Lord — but I loved each one and we had a great relationship while they were here. My prayer in writing this column is that if you have a problem with anyone, think long and hard about what I am saying and let bygones be bygones.

I remember in the Bible one time Jesus was asked, “Lord, if someone offends me, should I forgive him seven times?” The Lord said, “Not seven times but seventy times seven.” Going back several years after discovering this verse, I have resolved to “live in a constant state of forgiveness.” The reason is simple. It is not that they deserve forgiveness but that I deserve peace.

This reminds me of a letter I received once from a man in prison. He said he read one of my columns and that I had made the statement, “Life is too short to be unhappy.” Boy, is that true! If you have wounds that need to heal, I just want to help. Just let bygones be bygones and give it a chance.

If this makes a difference in your life, drop me a note. I would love to hear from you. From my perspective, I always want to do the right thing. If others don’t, I am sorry, but I want it to be their problem and not mine. To God be the Glory. Thanks, Sweetheart, for the thought, “Let bygones be bygones.”

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(Jim Davidson is an author, public speaker, syndicated columnist, and Founder of the Bookcase for Every Child project. Since its inception in the Log Cabin Democrat in 1995, Jim’s column has been self-syndicated in over 375 newspapers in 35 states. For a personalized copy of “Your Future Begins Today” send $20, which includes postage and handling, to Jim Davidson, 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034.)